My Name is Renata, and I'm a Medical Cannabis Patient

I write this not to garner sympathy, but simply to share my story and personal experience in hopes that others will do the same.  They can argue the facts and science, but cannot refute the voice of the people!

"The pen is mightier than the sword". 

I have been suffering from debilitating pelvic pain for over a decade.

Despite having undergone multiple invasive procedures, countless rounds of lab work and imaging, and seeing alternative care specialists, the etiology of my pain remains undiagnosed. 

Unfortunately, I have entirely too many allergies for one person, do not tolerate synthesized products in general well, and react quite negatively to traditional forms of pain management (opiates, narcotics, and their synthesized equivalents). I either: A) break out in hives; my whole body swells up and I get covered in this raised, itchy, sensitive rash, or, B) spend the day worshiping the Porcelain God as my stomach does its best to reject the undesirables. I am also allergic to Penicillin’s and sulfa's too! Apparently I am just “sensitive".

So effectively managing the pain has been quite a challenge, to say the least.  It sounds so vague and disconnected when I say “the pain”, there is so much more to it than that, it deserves caps. Let us then describe “The Pain”.

Using the classic pain scale of "1-10", with 10 being the worst pain imaginable, The Pain rates at right around a 12.  It feels like my internal organs, especially my kidneys and ovaries, are being attacked by a madman with an ice pick.  Like an insane marionette has my insides on strings, and every time he pulls them I feel stabs of pain.  When it peaks out, its so strong I feel cramping pain shooting down my legs and lower back.  I curl up in a ball, praying to whatever deities will hear me, asking to be knocked out until it has subsided.  I crawl over to the toilet, so nauseous from the pain that I am sure I will vomit.  I put my head against the bathroom tile, the cool texture feels soothing against my sweaty and feverish skin.  Eventually I do pass out, falling into the sweet escape of slumber.  But it never lasts, I am woken up by a sharp pain in my lower left side/flank.  It feels like my kidney is going to explode!  It hurts so bad it scares me, but I know better than to go to the E.R., they won’t find anything, they never do, and plus I have no use for their overpriced morphine drips or thin beds.  And the fun part is its hard to predict when the pain will occur, its slightly cyclical in nature, but most of the time it springs up out of nowhere and within hours I am crippled from it.

So what do I do? How do I manage this? Up until recently my go to drug of choice? IBprofen.  It’s the only pill I can take for long periods of time that actually works and doesn’t cause an allergic reaction.  The only problem is that I have to take 1000 mg every four hours or so for it to be effective, and you are not supposed to eat that much NSAID at one time, especially for years on end.  I think the most you are supposed to take in a 24 hour period is 6 – 200mg doses.  Also, I have to ask myself, if I am having issues with my internal organs, especially my kidneys, isn’t taking pills the last thing I want to do?

So my most recent surgeon, concerned for my long term well being, decided to write a recommendation for me to get my Medical Marijuana Card, what we call in Colorado a “Redcard” because of the color of the document.  This is a surgeon who did this for me, not some "hokey-pokey" doctor.  I believe she has only written one other medical marijuana recommendation before.  I first tried cannabis back in high school recreationally, but like countless others had also discovered its many health and wellness related uses.  When I mentioned my personal cannabis use for pain and nausea relief to her, she supported it wholeheartedly and told me to send her the paperwork so we could get the ball rolling.  This was about a month ago, and I am so excited!  Now I have access to products I never would have had on the “street”.  Smoking/vaporizing is effective for immediate relief of my nausea and helps take the edge off my pain, but I recently discovered tinctures, which is a way to orally deliver the cannabis in a liquid form (no smoking required!), and it only takes about 20 minutes to kick in.  This oral form is far more effective for treating my chronic pain and is an excellent anti-inflammatory.  I can feel it wearing off, my insides start to feel “swollen” again and I know its time for more.  And the best part?  I don’t have to take the pills anymore!  No more worries over long term affects or allergic reactions.  Also, cannabis feels good, and helps to ease my worries over things I don’t have control over, like my swollen insides.  It helps me maintain my sense of humor and a positive attitude, both pertinent to healing.  What is so wrong with that?  Absolutely nothing. 

For those who have never lived with a chronic medical condition or debilitating pain, you have no idea how upside-down your daily life becomes.  I am naturally a very active person.  I love hiking, dancing, camping, holding active jobs, working on cars…..and now I have to alter every aspect of my lifestyle so its tailor fitted to my pain.  I can barely handle running now.  Recently I had to leave my job with an amazing grocery chain because I can no longer perform the physical aspects of that industry, and since I remain formally undiagnosed my job was unable to be protected under the American Disability Act.  We have theories based upon family history and trends in lab results, but those don't protect your job.  Its depressing and frustrating.  I’m only 27, too young to feel so old.  I don’t have the energy I did last year, or the year before that.  I have to try really hard to keep myself in shape, since I can’t work out the way I want to.  In order to help manage my symptoms I have to be really strict about what I eat or how often I consume alcohol and caffeine.  I can’t even sleep the way I used to! I love sleeping on my stomach or left side, but I cannot do that anymore because it causes great pressure on my insides and it hurts.  Also I am woken up almost every night by kidney pain.  Its terrifying.  Imagine finding a product that not only helps you feel better physically, but mentally too.  Then throw in the fact that its safe, natural, non physically addictive, environmentally friendly, and has a history of use going back over thousands of years? Sign me up!

So what confuses me is the legality of Medical Marijuana.  First of all, I cannot believe that it is still rated a Federal Schedule 1 Drug, meaning it is in “a category of drugs not considered legitimate for medical use. Among the substances so classified by the Drug Enforcement Agency are mescaline, lysergic acid diethylamide, heroin, and marijuana. Special licensing procedures must be followed to use these or other Schedule I substances.”  Really??? We put cannabis up there with herion? No known medical value?  Says who? Cannabis has been used in every other culture since the dawn of, well, culture.  See, what I don’t understand is why the DEA is involved in medicine.  If my doctor, in a bona-fide physician-patient relationship, suggests a substance will have medical value to her patient, and the state said individuals reside in support it, that should be all that matters.  Pain is a personal affair, so how is it that the Federal Government and politicians are allowed to tell me how to manage it?  How is this legal? Who are they to tell people what is okay to put in their own bodies?  Why can’t we have options outside of Big Pharm?  I am not saying get rid of pills, but what I am saying is I SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE.  Why can’t I decide, as a responsible adult US citizen who has been paying taxes since the age of 15, how to manage my pain?  Why can’t I, as someone who suffers from chronic pain and allergies, have the right to decide to take an alternative path?  Cannabis greatly improves my quality of life, so WHERE’S MY RIGHT TO LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS???? 

If the feds step in and force the entire medical marijuana industry back underground, it’s the patients who will suffer the most.  People like me, and those who suffer from a myriad of other ailments, who have been seeking relief for far too long and have finally found it.  Let’s not think about all the money that could be made from legalizing and taxing this literal panacea, all the industry that would develop as a result, all the jobs that would be generated and inventions to be invented…………….just think for a moment about those whose way of life is improved every day by this plant, which used to be grown by our forefathers and upon whose fibers the original Declaration of Independence is printed.  This is supposed to be a "Representative Democratic Republic", but I don’t feel very represented right now.  If anything I feel the opposite.  I feel exploited.  Because technically right now I am a Federal Criminal.  I have never even had a misdemeanor before, my background is squeaky clean, yet I could go to prison for managing my pain.  The Federal Government is attacking the rights of its own citizens, and some of the most vulnerable at that.  As a Medical Marijuana patient, I have none of the rights that typical patients are entitlted to.  If the feds come in tomorrow and raid my medical cannabis dispensary, they will seize computers that have my personal medical information on them.  Information that normally is aggressively protected under HIPAA laws, but in this case isn't recognized.  They are even attacking Medical Marijuana patients rights to bear arms.  Yes that is correct, currently we are not supposed to be able to acquire a guns license.  This is a gross violation of the Constitution, and it scares me more than my swollen insides.  Imagine the Government coming out and saying “anyone who is on chemotherapy cannot own a gun”.  See?  How does any of this make sense?  Why is this industry and its affiliates under so much fire?  Please, please, please, I beg you, as a patient, as a human in pain, as a US citizen, leave cannabis alone.  Its never hurt anyone, and helps improve my life beyond verbal description.