Renata Carmen Writes

Old Zen Saying:  “Before enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. After enlightenment, carry water, chop wood.” “Where the hell have you been, Renata?” It’s been several months since I’ve updated this blog, or been a regular on Facebook, or responded to emails in a timely manner. A lot of people in my life have been wondering what happened to me, and I’ve been stuck in my own little world, struggling to reconnect and carry on with my life. In fact, ever since I was officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in February, I’ve found I’ve had to force myself to interact with others. Every aspect of my life, especially my social and personal life, has been flipped completely upside-down, especially when I first started getting sick.  I was so taken by surprise and overwhelmed and heartbroken by the deterioration in my health, it was all I could do to keep up with each day. I was riddled with grief, bitterness, anger, and despair over the perceived betrayal of my body and mind as my cond...

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.” I’m gonna get real for a sec. As I write this, pain and frustration have me in their grip. I have been crying all morning, consumed by Great Vengeance and Furious Anger. Yeah, this is how I feel about US Drug Policy... You see, I am running low on my plant medicines, specifically cannabis, and my Fibromyalgia symptoms have been running around unchecked. My already severely limited quality of life is being impacted even further, because of lack of safe access to this plant. I’m in the process o...

Finding the strength to write again after the last couple months has a been a great challenge, probably one of the greatest of my life. Which, as you get to know me, dear reader, you may find has not been an easy one. But who has an easy path in this life, really? I can sit here and make excuses about it, after all, I have some pretty good ones; at the beginning of the year I lost two people who were very close to me,  shortly after that I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (a bittersweet experience..."Hey, I'm not crazy! See, I really am sick, in your face haters! Oh shit, I have Fibro, fuck what now??"), and I relocated a couple thousand miles from the thriving industry of Boulder County, Colorado to a quiet, small town (technically a "village") in Southwest Vermont - which required the sale of my dearly beloved AW11 ('87 MR2). "And so she walked out of our lives, forever..." The move was madness, as all such moves are, but was exasperated by our e...

Many thanks to all those that donated! This donation account is no longer active. Thanks to your support, my partner and I were able to pull together the needed funds to get the care I needed at the time, and relocate to a place where we could have some support from family and live in a climate that better suits my UV Sensitivity.  However, the struggles of being a disabled mechanic/artist who does not currently receive SSI/SSDI are still very real.  Please, if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on, so your support is still greatly appreciated. No amount is too small!  I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :)  Hello my beloved readers! I do hope you all had Happy Holidays and a Blessed New Year! Typing is murder for me right now so th...

I have been deep in the grip of a flare-up in inflammation, which has put my Health Tips for the Holidays Series on hold. I will be getting back into that shortly. In the meantime, I wanted to post something to keep this blog alive and kicking, but I'm in a ton of pain and have the worst brain fog and fatigue so it makes writing very difficult. Thus, this will be short, and probably full of silly technical errors. Please forgive any that do appear. In the going on 3 years now that I have been chronically ill, I have done a ton of research related to the matter. Some of my favorite sources are forums, where one can read the experiences of other patients. Not only do these stories provide unique and invaluable medical insights, and help me maneuver the complex health system more efficiently, they also validate my feelings. To know one is not alone when you feel desperately so is like giving water to someone wasting away in the desert. It could save a life. That is probably the most ...

I hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving yesterday filled with love, laughter, and wonderful foods! As we enter the joyful chaos of this Holiday Season, we find ourselves caught up in a whirlwind of social events: eating, shopping, eating, gifting, eating, and traveling (and did I mention eating??). This 45 day crunch of consumerism and partying can wreak havoc on the body’s defenses, making us more prone to catching the season’s flus, colds, and other bugs that threaten to dampen our merrymaking. There is nothing worse than being too sick to enjoy festivities that you have been looking forward to all year! So how does one survive this onslaught with enough vitality left-over to enjoy the ride all the way through midnight on December 31 st , and beyond into the New Year? Especially when you are at a slight disadvantage from having a chronic illness or compromised immune system? Most health sources quote the same usual remedies: Vitamin C, Echinacea, Elderberry, Garlic, Homemade Chick...