Skip to main content

"Spoonie Rock" - Poetry

Breaking the poetry back out. This is a recent one, just wrote it last week. For my fellow "Spoonies", "Chronic Badasses", or anyone on the struggle...Keep up, stay strong! We all have moments of weakness in our battles - this was one of mine that I managed to turn around in the end. 
For me, freewriting is one of the best forms of therapy.
Hope you enjoy! 

Please tell me that I'm strong enough for this
When you look at me do you see my pain or strength?
I'm trying to bend like a willow in the wind
but I feel I might crack
I fear I may break
If I did a good thing then why 
Why do I 
why do I feel so sad?
Why do I feel so bad? 
why do I cry? 
Why am I so beat down
it's just a hurricane blowing everything around
Flipping my world upside-down
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
These thorns in my flesh are spread all around
Heart and Mind pound
Feeling heavier than gravity
Wanna crawl into a deep, underground cavity
and rest 
Say I did my best
as I breathe my last into the Earth Mother's sweet breast
But that would be a lie
Surely, I'd be sent back to finish what I started
To guide and soothe the lost and broken hearted
A job only I can do in the way that I do it
Now, if only I can be strong enough to see through it
Please
Let the tears stop
Let the pain subside
Give me the strength
to get up and ride
On to better places 
Friendlier faces
filled with the presence of God's graces
Time erases all pain
I know it's hard to think sunshine when you're lost in the rain
But you have everything to gain 
if you so choose
Blessings are often disguised as blues
and wise men as simple fools 
So, follow your folly! 
Be free from sadness
May your heart overflow with gladness
Even at your darkest hour 
What's yours is mine, and I give you Power, 
Strength, and Love
May it flow like a river down from above
and sustain you when you need it most
From sister to sister
and coast to coast 
Together
we're far stronger than one ever could be
United we stand
my fellow Spoonies...

*Love & Light*
Renata Carmen 

Please, if you find any value from this blog, please consider making a donation to the PayPal link at the top right of the page. I don't create these posts expecting anything but to help/entertain others, but I am a disabled mechanic/artist who is not currently receiving SSI/SSDI and when I'm flared up it's hard if not impossible for me to get my hustle on. I'm also working on adding Bitcoin here! :) 




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"the scheme of things" (orig posted on myspace 12/22/08)

"my car is like my own personal universe she's my drug and it only takes 12 bucks to fill 'er up and in my galaxy there ain't no room for earth so i'm leavin it cuz i can feel my oil pressure building up turning over the ignition of my solar system check the gauges, push in the tape put my foot on the brake shift existence, light my cigarette and take it state to state until i crash into my fate..." -slug (atmosphere) it doesn't matter what may have happened during the day, i know that The Mountain will always be there for me. i hit the streets in the direction of my favorite local peak, feeling relief at just the thought of traversing its glorious twists and turns. a pang of excitement runs thru me like electricity as it comes into view. regardless of how many times i have been up here, i get the butterflies as i enter the canyon and accelerate into the great abyss. all my problems dissipate as i turn into the apex. i feel the stress and neg...

Get off my lawn

A lil rhyme inspired by an ancient booty-call attempting to hollar at me out of nowhere. You should know that you're barking up the wrong tree Homie That you'd even try sniffing around goes to show how little you know me I don't know if you were just drunk or lonely But you should lose my number, like I did yours I had to reverse ID the 661 area code that popped up on my screen Anytime I see those three digits I automatically screen the incoming call and assume the worst So glad that place and state of mind are in my rear view 'cuz it hurts to reflect on how broken and askew I was then Too busy being consumed by doubt and shitty men like you Thankfully, I grew blossoming like a wisteria tree I learned to stand on my own two feet and find true love and community So, despite what you think you know It'd be best if you get gone and stay the fuck off my lawn {08/30/2021 - RCH}

Medical Cannabis Product Review - S.A.G.E. Flowers From Trill Alternatives

Well I hope you all had a great Halloween/Samhain! It has been a rather wild ride over the last two weeks (or however long its been since I posted last). During that time I went to two different social events, discovered severe intolerances to at least one member of the nightshade family (potatoes, boo!), and unfortunately, a dear friend of mine broke his back (the night before Halloween - lame). This is a lot to happen in a short amount of time considering I'm homebound without a running car, and thus haven't gotten out of the house much over the last year. Luckily my friend should be mended up in a few months time or so. He broke his back "in the best way possible"; i.e. got really, really lucky *whew*. Horrible accidents like that always remind me what I take for granted. Its hard to stay focused on gratitude, when you are fighting so hard everyday to get through the basics and keep your mind and body from falling apart anymore than it already has. Its maddening w...